Wrote these replies here but seems each time one was posted, a NewPP limit report was added yet I never wrote those. There is something that's adding that report (whatever it even is) to that area for some inexplicable reason.

​   NewPP limit report Preprocessor node count: 5/300000 Post‐expand include size: 0/2097152 bytes Template argument size: 0/2097152 bytes Expensive parser function count: 0/100 --> 

Harmless but intriging, so making a note here in case it arises in the future, and if anyone would like to solve this peculiar mystery that would be good as well!